Funny Jokes About Truck Drivers
11)Did You Hear About The JB Hunt Driver That Started Shooting At People At The Joplin Petro?He Would Have Shot More But His Gun Ran Out Of Water12)Why Did McDonalds Ban JB Hunt Drivers??They Kept Tearing Up The Playground Equipment!13)Why Does JB Hunt Paint Their Trailer Doors Yellow?So The Driver Will Know Which End To Hook Up To14)What Does Prime Inc Stand For?Please remember I mortgaged everything I need cashPRIME = Please Remeber I'm Missouri Educated15)A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying 'THUMP', and then swerve back onto the road.One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, 'Where are you going, Father?' 'I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road,' replied the priest. 'No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift.
Climb in the truck.' The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer.However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud 'THUD'. Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, 'I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer.'
'I know', replied the priest. 'Lucky I got him with the door!' 16)What Does Swift Stand For?Slow Wagon In Fast Traffic!Sure Wish I Finished Training!Sure Wish I Had A Faster Truck!Stop Whining I'm. Trying!Slow Women In Freightliner Trucks!See What I. Today17)What's The Difference Between A Peterbilt & A Porcupine?On the porcupine the. is on the outside18)What Does A Schneider Truck & An Orange Barrel Have In Common?They both have a dirt bag in them!19)yal know the difference between a elephant and a state troopers car? An elephant as a trunk in the front and an.
in the back. 20) A gynecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He'd always enjoyed tinkering with truck engines, so he enrolled in a school for truck mechanics. When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a truck engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.The gynecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%. 'How could that be?' Well,' said the instructor, 'I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart.
Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.' 30)What's The Difference Between A Jehovah's Witness & A Freightliner?At Least You Can Close The Door On The Jehovah's Witness!31)Why does JB Hunt paint their truck frames orange?So when they roll their truck everyone will think its a Schneider truck.32)What Do You Get When Swift Leaves A Truck Stop?Two Parking Space33)An old trucker that died and went to heaven was standing at the pearly gates with Saint Peter and there sat the prettiest fleet of Petes that he had ever seen.
He asked how do you get to drive one of them Petes?Saint Peter says we dont run them we get all kinds of drivers but we haven't got the first dispatcher.(sorrydipatch it was funny tho)34)This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying 'Nerds Not Allowed - Enter At Your Own Risk!'
He goes in and sits down.The bartender comes over to him. 'You smell kind of nerdy.
What do you do for a living?' 'I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I'm hauling.' 'Okay, truck drivers are not nerds,' he says and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long.The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver is totally shocked.' Why did you do that?'
'Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don't even need a license.'
The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway.Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers.
Clean Truck Driver Jokes
They are all engineers, accountants, and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen.He can't let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, killing several of them instantly.A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop. 'What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season,' says the truck driver.' Well, sure,' says the patrolman.
'But you can't bait 'em.' 35)A state trooper noticed a JB Hunt trailer upside down in the median with no tractor attached to it.
Funny Jokes About Lorry Drivers
The officer raced up the highway and soon caught up with a JB Hunt bobtail rig.He pulled the bobtail over and took the driver back to the scene of the accident. The driver looked at the upside down trailer and responded; 'thats not my trailer. Mine had wheels on the bottom.'
A JB Hunt driver passed a Swift truck on the interstate. Swift flashed his lights letting JB know it was ok to come back over. The JB Driver put his right turn signal on and switched lanes to the slow lane, then the shoulder, then finally off the road altogether.The Swift driver stopped and asked JB what happened. The JB driver exclaimed the dang turn signal got stuck!36)A new JB Hunt driver had an over gross load and the shipper was closed.
The JB driver called dispatch and asked what he should do. The dispatcher said just drive around the scale.When the JB Hunt driver pulled into the next dot scale he dodged the scale by driving across the scale masters back lawn.
When the Scale Master chased the JB driver down and questioned him the driver said 'my dispatcher told me to drive around the scale.' 37)What does ROADWAY really Stand For?Really Old.
Driver Working Another Year38)A trucker driving along on the freeway notices a road sign in the distance that reads 'Low Bridge Ahead.' Sure enough, the trucker gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.Finally, a police officer arrives at the scene. The cop gets out of his cruiser and walksaround to the truck driver. He puts his hands on his hips and remarks, 'Looks like you got stuck, huh?'
The trucker replies sarcastically, 'No, officer, actually I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas39)What does WERNER Stand For?We Employ Rednecks No Experience Required!